It's 2021, and the season to stand idly by is here, we won't hide who we hook up with! So that cute chubby hot girl you dated is here! Let us prepare your space for a sexy overnight stay to ensure that you and your date have the best experience.

Regarding this guide as a personal starting point, I would be very grateful if I were to go to the broadcast home. This is by no means an exhaustive list. If so, I hope this will inspire you to make your own list to meet your needs. If something doesn’t resonate with you, no problem! Don't include it in your must-have list. I would love to be inspired by the things in you. this is mine:

This should seem obvious, but before anyone comes over, you should sort it out. Most people don’t want to lie down on a pile of dirty clothes on the bed, nor do they want to step across a pile of empty pizza boxes to your sofa.

If you and your date plan to use safer sexual barriers, be prepared to use these barriers. This means condoms, gloves, dental dams, lubricants-whatever you usually use. If this is a new partner, it is wise to choose latex and non-latex, because latex sensitivity is very common.

If you have a kitchen, please make sure it is tidy and clean and has things you can provide to your partners. Remember, you are the host and you are trying to impress this person! There is no need to prepare a five-course meal, but having a good snack selection can really make this night special.​​​ Depending on how casual the dating situation is, if you know their favorite snack, you can really earn some bonus points by preparing them for them. When I know they will come, I personally put my partner's favorite drink in my refrigerator.

The facilities do not need to be the most expensive-you are not opening a spa, but you definitely want your guests to feel comfortable. If you are not a fat person, you don't know how annoying it is to get out of the shower and try to use a towel that does not fit your body. Prepare an "oversized" towel for your large sweethearts, which can hold their entire boldness. This is something I know I would be grateful for if I take a bath in someone's house! You won’t really live until you wrap your body in a big fluffy towel after showering. Believe me, even if you are not fat, give yourself a big fluffy towel!

Do you really want to reach an agreement? After they take a shower at your place, give them a robe for them to enjoy, or provide a shirt that they can sleep in. This shows that you are considerate and consider their comfort.

I recommend providing better lighting for all bedrooms and junctions, no matter how casual. No one should have sex under the dazzling headlight, which is especially important for people living with fat phobia. Investing in a beautiful lamp to get softer lighting is very helpful to create an atmosphere. If you want to take it to a new level, buy a light bulb or light bar that can change the color-it can really help create an atmosphere.

For any large-size person who wants to be smarter instead of working harder and just enter a better and more comfortable sexual position, the most valuable person is the liberator positioning pillow. They come in many shapes, so you can get anything, from small heart-shaped pillows or positioning wedges to full-size recliners and full sex supplies. My dream is to own a house full of discreet Liberator furniture because they are strong, soft, and comfortable, and the waterproof case can be zipped for easy cleaning. They live at the intersection of design and function, providing more support than traditional pillows.

There is a reason why wand vibrators have become a fanatical classic. They are especially suitable for larger bodies-their long handles allow them to go around the abdomen during sex, allowing you to reach them. In addition, the wand is a universal toy that can work on any genital configuration. You can get accessories so that your wand can be inserted for G-spot or P-spot stimulation. You can also use the percussion attachment for the penis or anyone who wants a softer, more fluttering feeling. Just make sure your accessory is designed to fit the type of wand you have! Most wands have silicone heads, so if you happen to associate with more than one person, they can be disinfected and shared safely between partners.

Now that you have collected your supplies, you can make sexy, curvy guests feel comfortable, considerate and welcome. Make sure you have fun while dating, live in the moment, and remember that your date may be as excited and nervous as you!

*This article has been updated to include additional information about the author in the introduction on November 15, 2021.

Carly wrote 1 article for us.

Hello! Super fat, queer babies, obesity educators and critical body therapists are here!

To my great disappointment, this article does not talk about unraveling the internalized queer fat phobia before hooking up with a fat baby—especially because it seems to be written from the perspective of a thin person, suitable for a person who wants to interact with The thin person that the fat baby hooks up. I am even more disappointed that this article did not mention anything about discussing accessibility with fat partners! Before I took the bait, I was more concerned about whether I could urinate comfortably and safely in my partner's place, rather than whether they had a lovely emotional lighting.

This article-and the images in it-refute the real-life experience of fat oppression by ignoring these points, and labeling and exploiting the fat experience by associating it with snacks and *aesthetics*. This is part of a larger routine of Autostraddle, which puts the thin fat body and experience at the center at the expense of fat.

In fact, this article and picture have been deleted from your Instagram, where the real conversation and call took place and told me that Autostraddle knew and was complicit in this violent act against the obese body. With the blind support of L Word and Dinah Shore-these two entities directly benefit from eliminating obesity-and use this energy to think critically and support your fat queer community. ✌️

Hello! I am the sex and dating editor of Autostraddle. This article was written by a writer who claimed to be Fatty, and it was based on her own opinions and experience.

I saw this, and I followed and supported Carly's excellent work! My feedback is not directed at the author, but trying to solve this problem. This article does not include some additional support/resources, ways to resolve fat deviations during connection or to support fat accessibility during connection. This article places such a high emphasis on snacks in the original photo thumbnails, and also feels disparaging about the general obesity experience and the carefully selected things by the author. I can see that the purpose of this article is to make AS easy to make money, and there is nothing wrong with easy articles to bring money to queer media, but the article that AS has no other articles feels like a big blow to AS. In the model, they do not support fat people, especially the big fat people in the media that they emphasize, the voices they support, and the events they hold.

Hello, I am not the editor of this article, but I am the editor-in-chief here, and I am also a fat man.

So, first of all, I want to thank you for your reading and comments. I also want to solve some problems:

I don't want to always assume that the author of this article is a thin guy ("It seems to be written from the perspective of a thin guy, suitable for someone who wants to hook up with a fat baby"). We have made plans and will continue to run various sexual and dating content representing a range of bodies and experiences. These content will include—such as this article—written by fat people specifically to describe their own sex lives.

This also brings me to the second point that I want to address immediately, that is, many of the themes you put forward here, especially around internalized queer fat phobia and accessibility, these themes will also appear in these other works . I think we all know that no one article can cover all topics at the same time, which is understandable. This is one of the reasons why we hope to publish a series of articles from various angles over time. So no work must serve everyone. I personally look forward to it.

Although as an important narration, especially regarding fat accessibility-the discussion of magic wands and liberator pillows in this article are both extensive and commonly used accessible sex devices, even if they are not clearly named here.

The last big thing I want to discuss is to withdraw this article from Instagram, because this is a decision I directly participated in, so I am comfortable with it.

We did not take this article off Instagram because “that’s where the real conversations and appeals take place.” We welcome conversations. In fact, we have rescheduled this article to be replayed on Instagram later this week because we think it is important!

We also realized that in our original title and original feature images (adjusted immediately after review), we did not provide the best service for this article, nor did we provide the author with the framework she deserves to be the best Demonstrate her intentions and voices. We want to solve this problem because it is our fault. We apologize for this. We also contacted the author and apologized personally. But we don’t think the fault lies with the author or this article, but in terms of editorial supervision, we should be more cautious in publishing content on social media.

But all that is said! I am very grateful for your message. We are working hard to better create a platform for all kinds of strange voices and opinions, as you said, a stereotyped, thin, white, cis-like existence that appears in the lesbian and queer communities Especially prominent-including in Autostraddle's past. Especially as a fat guy, I am very excited about our new article and reimagined how I can also have better sex. Thanks again.

I appreciate your feedback and love the conversation here!

I agree that an article cannot and should not capture the fat man and LOVE LOVE LOVE. I heard that there are plans to re-highlight all the amazing dating and intimate experiences of this article on Instagram, and plan to read more articles from the perspective of the fat man.

Although I see that the author is a fat guy, I mean, this article seems to be written almost like a column of advice on how to better host a fat baby to hook up. Great, the products mentioned above that help accessibility and focus on fat happiness are revolutionary in themselves. I just hope that I can give additional suggestions and suggestions while buying the product; maybe in a future article?

Carmen, when your voice was added to AS and became the editor-in-chief, he was very excited and noticed a clear step in the right direction. AS has a tradition of deleting/closing comments when community members provide tweets, so I’m very happy to hear your feedback on why the post was deleted and edited. It sounds like you have made the best decision, especially for your author. Thank you for your insight.

I appreciate everything you have said, and can’t wait to see other articles published by Autostraddle. These articles focus on obesity, especially the big fat people in the future.

Hey Elizabeth, this is fair! I really appreciate your taking the time to participate in this comment thread and your various feedback.

I also look forward to the work Ro has been planning and the future of our entire coverage. I am looking forward to an independent article on internalizing fat phobia in hookups (this is something we’ve discussed in various advice columns over the years-but as far as I know, not in a separate article, you are The right way of the past). I can definitely see where this is helpful to this article in a broader context, although I believe the author is deliberate, as you said "pursuing easy and pleasant things".

I also appreciate your understanding of our starting point on Instagram. I can't talk about all the past of AS, but I am definitely not ignorant of the damage there and fully understand why it is back. We can regain trust in many places. I see.

I am very happy to backup this article on IG! We pre-arranged our Instagram a few days in advance, we have some holiday reports, we need to exit the grid, but this will return in the first opening hours.

Thanks again, I really appreciate it.

To be honest, I saw "Snacks" and stopped reading.

I usually don't go all out in the comments, but I am here today.

Now what we can really get into here is the politics of gatekeeper fatness and some of the content in the comments above.

But I'm not interested in going there right now-I think many times readers don't realize that people usually write/speak based on their own experience-and maybe other experiences on this topic are currently being written.

It is also clear when to post a comment, and no one has to check who wrote it.

Maybe you do have different experiences, maybe you do find something more important than what the author mentioned here, but we will not deny their needs, desires or experiences just because of a mismatch. yourself.

In addition, if what happened in IG reviews is considered "real conversation"—mostly comments by very thin, privileged individuals—then we still have a long way to go.

Also, in addition, there is-fan/air conditioner/open window baby, if we enter it and things become heavy and hot, this is not impossible in the world, I will continue to let you touch me without There is some type of cold air flow. <3

First of all, I appreciate your feedback and the opportunity to talk about obesity in this community. It is incredible that any kind of dialogue is happening!

I am not a goalkeeper obese-as a super obese person, I am used to protecting my body/knowledge before making a statement. Obesity itself is a spectrum experience. In this experience, small fats can get larger fats-especially super fats and unlimited fats-privileges, opportunities and experiences that are simply not available. As our scale increases, the objects we are oppressed based on scale directly increase. However, fat phobia in the queer community is insidious and often covered up. I think it is worth studying this article in the work of AS and past actors.

I am familiar with Carly's work/promotion, and can understand that the intention of this piece is easy and generates revenue for Autostraddle because it has already linked the product. This is completely legal, and it is worthy and needed content in itself! From a personal point of view, I do want what the author mentioned and I hope that the author (and Autostraddle) will use their status as queer media producers in the queer world and also promote a deeper conversation about hooking up with fat babies . I am happy to support the author's continued and expanded work for AS and other media. I would love to see many different and amazing fat voices highlighted in Autostraddle!

This article was not written out of thin air. I haven’t seen any more in-depth critical thinking articles about what it means to unravel fat biases when hooking up with fat people or making it easier to gain space for fat people (of course, I haven’t read every article published by AS, so Maybe this article has been published there, I miss it very much) and there is this easy and profitable work, no other work about supporting fat partners feels problematic. I know that AS has made great strides in recent years, but it still feels like a deficit.

Your criticism of real dialogue is correct. There must be a large number of thin white people occupying space like thin white people, of course, the comment section needs to be reviewed to ensure that the fat people's voice can be heard. Deleting the post feels as usual-past comments and criticisms about A-Camp or AS supporting L Word or Dinah Shore have been deleted-and stopped the potential for deeper dialogue and structural changes.

Elizabeth, I really appreciate this comment and dialogue, I definitely don't want to prohibit it from continuing!

I just want to simply point out that Autostraddle has never deleted the posts about A Camp, and we allow these comments to continue in the designated spaces and posts on our Instagram (I also say that this was also before I took over as EIC, it was just a related combination What I want to say next). Since 2018, we have not reported on Dinah Shore either-long before I took over as EIC, I can say that now I am EIC and I have zero intentions for us to report on it in the future, because although various people and The agency enjoys Dinah, and I agree with you that it does have many of the same conversations around you, white people, and cisness in our community. The last thing is that, although we have done a lot of L Word coverage, we have been criticizing it for focusing on thin, white and light-skinned bodies. This is even more true in our recent reports.

We are a small group of employees and do our best to run social media around our full-time and part-time jobs operating the site, and I agree that in an ideal world, we would have someone who can monitor our IG comment section full-time to make sure we are excited about a specific Sound, but this is not the actual time of our day. As I mentioned above, we are republishing this article because we do think it is important and we are not doing better on Instagram. That's why we took it down, while noting that most of the commenters were thin white people-as you admit, don't sweep it under the carpet.

In any case, please continue the conversation! I just want to explain the work that AS has committed to implementing changes in the past few years and the work of our current staff - including all three editors involved in the topic - have and will continue to make these changes.

I can't really talk about how Autostraddle reported before 2018, because I am not the editor here. But I can talk about the work we are trying to do now and the way we hope to create change.

I just cut in and I think you have done a great job as an EIC, Carmen. I've spent more time here than ever before, it's up to you, and Autostraddle's editing voice has matured under your leadership.

postscript. Love your thoughts on fans/communication!

Not the sexiest on this list, but the friendly furniture is very helpful! (No arms, strong)

I also appreciate the changes to this cover image, you guys. The last one feels a bit like playing with the stereotype of fat guys constantly eating.

Yes! ! Before we return to your residence, please provide us with detailed information about the robustness of the furniture, the condition of the bathroom and the number of stairs! If we host it, maybe it will be better!

Yes, this includes paying attention to the size of your bed and how strong the bed frame is!

I'm fat, and honestly, if I were to hook up with someone, I would die, and they started trying to reassure me how sturdy their bed frame or toilet seat was. no, thank you.

Some of the allegations mentioned in the comments above seem to repeat narratives that are contrary to what I have noticed-in particular, the AS staff have closed the discussion and deleted critical posts.

For more than 4 years, I have been reading most of the posts here, but I haven't seen them. I have witnessed the staff handle different opinions and even combative opinions with respect and detail, just like they did in this position.

I remember that in the previous allegations of this nature, the accuser actually deleted the AS staff's response to these allegations when they were posted on different websites, forcing the editor to respond here. I can imagine that everyone has their own narrative on this issue, but looking at what AS has done since then, I am very confident that they did not close the objection, but check it and absorb healthy things.

I have seen posts removed from controversial topics on several occasions. Obviously, these posts have been removed for violating the comment policy and have received support from several community members and requested review.

Maybe I missed something, but if so, my point above accurately describes the recent operation of the site. It seems fair to note this.

Appreciate thoughtful words and look forward to the growth it brings. I wish you all peace.

I am very grateful for the important and insightful discussions so far. The Fatness tag has many more serious and relaxed snippets, I think: https://www.autostraddle.com/tag/fatness/

I really like this article, thank you! Thoughtfulness makes me feel appreciated. I like this tone, a night full of fun and connection.

This comment is a reflection of the various comments and topics raised in the comments here. It is not just for one person, nor does it accuse any particular person of believing or not believing something. I don’t know how to organize this review, and I’m not paid to post this review and keep it organized, so it’s just a collection of ideas.

Thank you, Elizabeth, she brought up the difference between the experience and oppression faced by little fat people compared to super fat people and infinite fat people. In the past few years, Autostraddle has published some great content about obesity. Moreover, I definitely think that Autostraddle can develop more in this field, and I am very happy that there are editors here to read the comments and participate in the discussion.

This is a blog post discussing the idea of ​​"goalkeeper obesity". https://fluffykittenparty.com/2021/06/01/fategories-understanding-smallfat-fragility-the-fat-spectrum/ I don’t think this is a perfect post (and perfectionism itself is not a good goal, but This is to talk another day). And, this may be a useful 101 for people who read these reviews but have never heard of "super fat".

Thoughts on the "from the perspective of obesity": *identity* essentially does not guarantee anything about *politics/political analysis/political framework. *So just because someone is fat does not mean that they have deep knowledge/framework/practice about obesity politics, systemic anti-obesity, sizeism, etc. Should Autostraddle publish articles on obesity a) not based on a strong political framework and/or b) not explicitly admitting that systemic anti-obesity is another issue. I think there is a time and place for different levels of seriousness and different levels of analysis. I am very happy to hear that there are more works and views on the road. In other words, as other commenters have mentioned, even if it is a lighthearted article, this article does miss the key to creating a convenient and comfortable date for the overweight person. And I think even the light-hearted articles on Autostraddle should focus or at least include the most marginalized parts, especially when they are framed as someone else’s "to-do list" (as this article says, "This is your Needed") rather than because "This is how I personally like my fat body."

Finally, it is important to always remember the intersection of obesity and other identities. Anti-black and anti-obesity are deeply intertwined. To travel the world as an obese black person is different from being an obese white person. Of course, there are many other important intersections, such as disability, age, class, gender identity, etc.

Here are two good books on this topic: Fear of Black Body: The Racial Origins of Obesity Phobia Sabrina Strings Belly of the Beast: Da'Shaun L. Harrison's Anti-obesity Politics

In short, I hope many of us want the same thing-end the systematic oppression of fat people, blacks, indigenous people, Asians, Latins, people of color, people with disabilities, queer, transgender people , And create liberation for them, the poor, children and the elderly, etc. How to do this is a question. There are many roads to liberation. We will not all agree on the right path. We will make mistakes. It is important that we continue to work hard.

Also, if Autostraddle had a fat theme editor, it would be great. I know that many of you editors are fat, but I mean those who are experts in obesity politics, he can be the subject editor for articles discussing obesity. What worries me is that this article has been edited by at least one before it was published. A good fat theme editor will find the lack of ultra-fat accessibility tips, original photo selections, and the snack section of the article (if included, it should be clarified that everyone needs snacks, not just fat people).

The disability theme editor is also great.

Maybe these can be your goals for your next fundraising event.

1 Comment on this. This would be a great addition.

"*Identity* essentially does not guarantee anything about *politics/political analysis/political framework.*"

Seeing this article, I am a little at a loss. For any sexual contact, most things seem to be good things, such as safer sex products, snacks/hydration/general aftercare products and "atmosphere". On the one hand, it's like "It's normal to have sex with fat people, you know what to do". But on the other hand, there are also different considerations.

Liberator furniture and magic wands are good things to know, but I want to know more. Why not link things to the shoulder straps from last week, and how spare parts harnesses (I think?) are best suited for larger bodies, and why? Is the length of the dildo a consideration because you have to process more meat, so it will make the entire dildo "shorter" for insertion? Sweating may be a more important thing, so how to make the space more comfortable? Should there be extra towels around you? Are there certain positions that might be more helpful? Techniques for dealing with large FUPA or vulva, which means that the clitoris and cavities are more concealed and need to consider who is spreading (or is there a device that might help)? Are there any special considerations for bondage or other forms of games?

I would say that although owning a huge bath towel is a game changer, I don’t know why it took me so long to find it! In fact, it's great to be able to wrap yourself in comfortable warmth and will completely complete your aftermath.

Hello, trekkie_19! Stay tuned for more content on Autostraddle, focusing on obese bodies and genders. In the next few months, we have writers introducing fat people's sex positions and the best sex toys for fat people!

Looking forward to more Feidi content on AS! Thank you for writing this article, Carly!

great! You have decided to comment. This is wonderful. Remember, comments are governed by the guidelines set out in our comment policy. Let us have a meaningful personal conversation, thank you for coming!

Enby is a company owned by Black/Trans operated by 3 enby's. The company believes that all bodies deserve affirmation and pleasure. Work hard to create a safer and more comfortable sex toy shopping experience for the queer community, especially non-gender, transgender and non-binary groups.

Copyright 2009-2021 The Excitant Group, LLC. all rights reserved.

We have been helping you get off the car since 2009. Let us take it to the next level.

Subscribe more, please! , Our sex and dating newsletter